Accountability.

Accountability is getting on the scale this morning even after I had a melt-down diet wise yesterday.  My diet yesterday consisted of chocolate frosted mini wheats with skim milk, chicken with spaghetti squash, granola bar, and the following:

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For the record, thats a chocolate milkshake, 2 chocolate chip cookies, and dinner was wings, soft pretzels, and potato wedges from buffalo wild wings.

Yes, I am ashamed.  It was one of those days,  I actually sat in my car and cried for almost an hour.  I turned to food to comfort me when I felt like nothing was going right.  I know this was a huge step backwards for me as far as my diet goes, so I forced myself on the scale this morning.  Strangely enough my weight went down... though I suspect it may go up tomorrow.

Now that my confession time is over, I have to apologize about not posting and commenting much.  My daughter started preschool last week and I am still getting used to the time that requires.  I spend 1-2 hours in the car every day between taking her, getting her home, and the pickup/drop off line.  I haven't quite figured out a schedule that works for me. Here is a photo of her on her first day of school showing off the card that Grandma made for her and our attempt at being crafty (her school bag).  It's not the greatest picture, she doesn't cooperate for me- I will try to update with a better one later.


I was supposed to do a post about my long run, but unfortunately since that was almost a week ago I don't remember much about the actual run.  I will do a quick summary here, not that it will be interesting to most of you guys, but I want it more for my reference.  The schedule called for 9-10 miles, I was secretly hoping to do 12 to get me closer to the half-marathon distance.  The farthest I have gone is 11 miles and I am secretly afraid that I won't be able to go 13.1!   I overslept and got a late start so I decided I would shoot for 10.  I forgot to eat an english muffin before heading out - whoops!  I fueled with Chocolate #9 at about 4 miles and about 7.5 miles (not the greatest decisions but they worked) and drank water and black cherry propel.   I ended up stopping by the house at about 7.5 miles to use the bathroom and headed back out. I had some problems with my gps running app on my phone.  Although, I didnt realize it until I was done with my run.  Luckily, despite the problems the mileage ended up being right.  The splits however, were screwed up.  Which is sad because I would have liked to analyze them before the half.  Ah well!  The splits being off is what made me realize there was a problem...it showed I ran one mile in 7 minutes - yeah I think NOT!  Somehow while it got the overall mileage right it showed me running all over creation, random lines that I did not run etc.  I know the overall mileage is right because I double checked it.... yeah, so confused!
My overall time for 10.04 miles was 1:31:45

 Hah.  For giggles, here are my splits from that long run:

I promise to try to do better about updating the blog and including some more interesting content.  Hope you all are having a good Tuesday!

I Will Never Forget.

Source -  Copyright Thomas Franklin for The Record

10 years ago terrorists attacked our country and it will never be the same.  It was a time of great change for me, I had just started my freshman year of college.  I was halfway across the country from my family (my parents were in Texas and I was in Michigan) and just learning how to stand on my own two feet.  I was a Tuesday morning and I was in bed when the phone rang.  I decided to roll over and ignore it and let my roommate answer the phone.  She wasn't on the phone long and left as soon as she was done.  Something told me I needed to crawl out of bed and see what was up.

By the phone I found a note "The country is under attack.  Your Mom and Dad are safe."  I was reeling, I didn't quite understand the magnitude of it all but tuned in to the news and watched the days events unfold.  It was hard being away from my family during this emotional time, especially given the fact that my family was living near Fort Hood which is a HUGE military base and was on the list of potential targets.  I felt so helpless, there were so many people who needed help and I couldn't do anything to help them.  It was a shock to me to see how differently many of the people on campus reacted to the events.  I guess it shouldn't have been surprising to me, most of them were not from a military background.

On my campus we had a rock that was frequently painted to reflect current happenings with various groups on campus, etc.   A group of my friends and I decided to paint the rock in remembrance of those who lost their lives that day.  Looking back, it was such a small thing, but it was all we knew how to do.  We were trying to deal with it the best we could on our little college campus.  I am so grateful that my mom made the following scrapbook page for me with quotes that I wrote as well as photos from our "rock decorating" escapades.  Looking at this page always brings me back to that day 10 years ago....

 This is the same page, but showing the bottom flap folds out and had more photos underneath.

The events of September 11th had such a lasting impact on me during that formative first year at college that I did my year long McGregor/Honor's Day presentation on the Impact of Photos of September 11th.  It was an interesting project.  The hardest part of this project was sifting through the thousands of images that were being shown.  I had to narrow my photos down to a small group of different categories of pictures.  From there I categorized the pictures based upon the type of picture they were.   To study people's emotional response I made a slide show and had people write down their initial gut reaction upon seeing each photo.  I was able to draw some interesting conclusions from the study.  Not that I can remember exactly what they were to this day, but honestly.. this project will probably always be the one I remember the most, the one that I am most proud of, the one that affects me the most.  I cried so many tears during this project, but it was still so rewarding.  I was hoping to share the images I chose for my study, but they are on a floppy disk and I have no way to read the disk, maybe I will add them later if hubby can figure out how to get them to me.  But, for now, here is a scrapbook page that  my mom  made showing my presentation board for Honor's Day.

I haven't watched any of the memorial stuff on TV today.. I sort of feel guilty about it.  But for me, reflecting on this event is so much more of an internal thing.  However, I heard the 9/11 "Heaven Remix" on the radio several times, and every time it choked me up... its worth a listen  It is SO sad to imagine all of the children who are growing up without their fathers/mothers, or the wives and husbands who lost their "better half."  Sometimes I take my family for granted, today is a reminder for me that anything can happen and I need to treasure every day with them.

Make sure to make Memories today because Tomorrow isn't Promised.  I love you Natalie and Daniel - you are Mommy's whole world.  I may not be the best Mommy, but I promise you that I will always love you more than the day before.  And Tommy, thank you for sticking by me, fat and thin, happy and sad, etc - I love you and I know I don't tell you enough how much you mean to me and how much I appreciate you.

While we didn't do much today to actually "commemorate" 9/11, I am glad that I spent the day with my family because honestly that's what life is all about.  I don't need a special day to pray for and remember those who lost their lives that day or those who have lost their lives since while fighting for our freedoms, its something that I remember every day.

That is all for today, I had planned to make a post about my long run on Thursday, but I felt like this was much more important. Maybe tomorrow.   For now, time to go listen to a few patriotic songs as well as "Where were you when the world stopped Turning" by Alan Jackson and hit the bed.

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New 5k PR!

I need to post about my long run yet this weekend, but this is far more interesting.  I ran the Defenders Dash this morning here in town.  I went into today's run with no plans to PR, I wanted to run a strong but cautious race and knew that the course had some decent hills.  I told Tommy that I was hoping to finish at about 25:30 or 26:00 - that would have been considered a success for me.

Instead:  I finished in 23:43.7 - 7:36 min/mile - holy crap where did that speed come from?!?!

FIRST IN MY AGE GROUP!

4th woman to finish

13th person overall to finish (of 127ish?)

I ran this race in honor of my dad, who served our country for roughly 20 years in the US ARMY.  I honestly think he will be a soldier at heart for life though.  Since retiring, he has been doing contract work for the military.   This race was called the Defenders Dash.  It was done in memory of  September 11th.   You could purchase signs for people you wished to honor and all proceeds will go to a charity to help those in the military.  I decided to buy a sign in honor of my dad. It was neat to run the beginning and end of the race and to see all of the signs of those who have served or are currently serving in the military, fire department, police department, etc. At the right is a picture of me and my baby girl with the sign.


I lined up at the beginning of the pack because I noticed there weren't mats to start the timing chips so I knew that I would lose time if I didn't start right at the front.  I went out too fast and I knew it, but no matter how much I told myself I needed to slow down I hated feeling people pass me.  So, I kept it up as long as I could. The first mile felt easy especially given the pace I was running at.  At one point I passed an older gentleman and he looked over and said "there goes #4 and #5... woman #3 is up there... go get her."  This was extremely motivational for me, so I pulled ahead of the other girl I was running with and set my sights on woman #3.

I feel like I look fierce here - does that make me cocky?

However, the hills on Covington were less than friendly and I was feeling like I was going to die by the time I hit Homestead.  But, seeing my time at the halfway mark kept me moving forward.  Instead of walking (which I wanted to badly), I put my head down and tried to keep moving my legs as fast as I could.  I wanted that PR, I could taste it!  Woman #3 was getting further and further ahead of me but I didn't have anything left to give so I just kept plugging along.  Seriously, I was SO glad to see the corner of Aboite and Covington - I tried to put it into high gear.  Not that high gear was as fast as usual by this point, but I pushed as fast as I could and even "skirted" a guy right before I crossed the finish line!  I loved that they had it set up to run under an American flag to finish!

As mentioned above - I placed first in my age group. I had won overall female once before but wasn't proud of that run and it was such a small race, so this "win" meant alot more to me. Sorry that means you guys have to suffer through more pictures! hah

As per usual, my elevation/pace chart and splits are below.  I was disappointed by the fact that these splits were exactly the opposite of negative splits, but I can't be too mad given my slowest mile was still sub 8:00.  Unfortunately though, it wasn't the race plan I had in my mind - hopefully I will be able to hold back at the beginning for Fort 4 Fitness.

And now, miscellaneous pictures from the race.  But first, I need to give credit to my Mom, Lora, over at Notes from the Scrapbooklady for creating the image that I used on my shirt for this race.  She actually created the image to cut with her new cutting machine, but I decided after seeing it that it would make the perfect addition to my race ensemble so I borrowed it and made a t-shirt transfer out of it.  She is way more crafty than I will ever be, so definitely check her out if you are the crafty type! 

Last but not least, I feel like it is absolutely necessary that I review the race since it was the first year they held this race.  I have to say that the race was very well organized.  It took less than 2 minutes to pick up my packet and goody bag.  They also had race day registration (with plenty of t-shirts).  I was also able to buy the sign for my dad this morning, took all of 2-3 minutes to do that.  All of the volunteers were very friendly.  The race did start a few minutes late, but that doesn't bother me at all.  They had the military guys blocking off the streets which us which was neat.  In addition they played the National Anthem before the race which I have never seen before, I LOVED that!  And last but not least, they played "Eye of the Tiger" just as we started the race which was a great motivator for me... that song always makes me run faster!

 There was a water station and a clock stationed halfway through the race.  They had PLENTY of water, gatorade and food at the end of the race - they never ran out, which I hear can happen frequently. They had bananas, mini bagels and peanut butter, and these really yummy nature valley granola thins (they had peanut butter and chocolate varieties, I tried the peanut butter but I am sure the chocolate are equally fantastic).

Last but not least, let's talk about the race swag.  The t-shirt is a lovely women's cut tech tee.  The color is a very light grey - I might have made it darker grey because it almost looks like dingy white, but I LOVE the shirt anyways.  In addition, we got back sacks, they are super high quality camo fabric and even have the race logo printed on them - score.  And of course there were the usual papers for future races, etc.  But, the best part?  (Or at least per hubby...) There was  a whole package of 10 cookies in the swag bag - made by a local bakery - Ellison's bakery. The flavor was apple raisan, they were soft and smelled phenomenal.  Hubby said they were awesome!

I would DEFINITELY recommend this race to everyone I know - they announced at the race that the 2nd annual Defenders Dash will take place September 8, 2012 - so if you local to the Fort Wayne area keep your eyes open for registration for this race for an awesome cause!   If I can fit it on my schedule I will be there!

ETA:  "I'm famous!"   Well, not really, but the local news station covered the race and one of the pictures they used has me in it! Check it out.

So, I knew my time from the PCT was around 1:36.  The official results were posted today and seeing the results I see why they only awarded first place in the 10 mile race.  In most age categories there were only one maybe two people!  The race didn't seem that small since there were three different races going off at once!

official time: 1:35:54.1
Pace: 9:35 min/mile
Age Group: 2 of 5
Overall: 37 of 65

I am hoping to run a bit better at my first half marathon.   But, I have come to terms with the fact that my initial goal is out the window.  Really, my goal is to make sure I finish.  I would love to finish with no walk break, but if I have to walk I am going to try not to beat myself up about it.  I just have to think back to January when I made my resolutions for the year.  I wanted to run ONE 5k and walk a half marathon.  I have FAR exceeded those goals so far this year.. so, if I have to walk a bit.. ITS OKAY!

Race Count so far this Year:
5k: 6
4.5mile: 1
10k: 1
10mile: 1
Obstacle Course 5k: 1

Happy Tuesday everyone, I am off to the craft store to buy decorations for my daughter's bag for her first day of school tomorrow!!

Parlor City Trot - Race Recap!

Beware: Extremely wordy, long recollection of the events leading up to and including the race!  Honestly, looking at it I know its too long but I want to put all this in here because I need to remember what went right and wrong so I can get better!

I thought I had it all figured out... little did I know my first "long race" experience was going to throw me through a loop.  I took the advice of my half marathon class friends and laid everything out the night before.  I had my hydration belt, spibelt, fuel, bodyglide, and my clothing all laid out on the counter ready to go and my shoes were packed in the car.

After getting all that set, I looked up directions to Bluffton and saw that it said it would take 52 minutes to get there.  I decided we would be out the door at 5:45 am to make sure we got there by 7 am.  The race started at 7:30, but being a very small town race I was sure that would be enough time.  I even got to bed at a reasonable time - around 11 pm. I just knew I was off to a good start.

Hiccup #1: I had pushed lots of water Friday night because I was afraid that I was dehydrated from being outside in the heat for hours.  This meant I didn't sleep as well as I would have liked because I had to get up like 3 times to go to the bathroom. 

When my alarm went off, I bounded out of bed, took my Imodium, and got myself ready.  I went downstairs and gathered my camera and all of my race stuff into a bag so that I would be ready to go for the race.  I got hubby up and we got the kids all set and we were out the door.  A few minutes late, but I thought we were okay time wise since I had allowed 15-20 minutes buffer.

Hiccup #2:  After putting the address in the GPS it said we would not arrive until 7 am, meaning the trip was 15 minutes longer that it should have been.  I was livid - how dare google maps give me wrong information.  As we got closer we shaved some time off and got to the our destination at like 5 minute until 7.  Unfortunately, our destination was the middle of nowhere and the race was no where to be found.  The problem?  I told hubby the wrong address!  

After we realized the problem, we put the new information in the GPS and found we were only 8 miles from where we needed to be, but  the drive would take 25 minutes! ACK.  That meant I would arrive at 7:26, to a race that started at 7:30.  And I didn't even have my shoes on... not to mention I needed to pick up my packet and visit the restroom.  In that moment I had a break-down, tears involved.  I put petal to the metal and drove faster than I probably should have but I was determined to make it to the race in time. But then, I hit a really annoying gravel road where I couldn't go more than 35 mph or the van started losing traction and fish-tailing.   I was panicking, but thankfully the gravel road only lasted 2-3 miles.  I managed to pull into Bluffton at 7:15.  I parked my car, and took off on the run leaving Tommy to get the kids together and meet me at the start line to take pictures.  I think I was at packet pickup at 7:20, luckily as promised it was quick and I headed right to the bathroom.  Luckily I was able to multi-task and attach my chip and bib while waiting in line. 

Positive Moment #1: Running into "L" who blogs at My Story... Chapter 2 and "C" while waiting in line in the bathroom - seeing them helped calm my frazzled nerves. 

After I was done in the bathroom, I threw my hair up in a pony tail and put on my bondiband.  Then I quickly applied my body glide and grabbed everything I needed for the race and left my bag with hubby and headed to the start line with "C" and "L."

Hiccup #3: I forgot to bring my ipod - I ALWAYS run with music.  I was not sure how on earth I was going to run 10 miles without it?!

I tried to find a place about halfway back in the pack.  I knew I didn't want to be in the front with the elite runners but I also didn't want to be weaving in and out of people at the beginning.  I didn't think about the fact that I was in the middle of the pack which meant Tommy wouldn't be able to get good pictures (whoops)!  After a few announcements we were off.  I ran past Tommy and tried to settle in to a rhythm. About half a mile into the race when I was doing a mental checklist of my race strategy, I realized that I was in trouble...

Hiccup #4 (and probably the biggest of the day): I forgot to grab my race fuel from my race bag.  I was in for a 10 mile with no fuel when I have been fueling twice on this length of run.

At this point I start to have a mini-breakdown while running.  I was on the verge of tears thinking that this race was going to be an epic disaster and that there was NO way I was going to be ready for the half in 3 weeks. I somehow managed to talk myself out of it and just kept on running.  I had my phone set to tell my my pace every 5 minutes.  I was starting to realize at a mile and a half that I went out to fast.  It was a constant internal battle to try to slow down.  I was trying to pace myself based on people around me - letting people pull ahead of me so I could stay behind them.  My pace unfortunately was not slowing down though... I knew I couldn't hold the pace through the end of the race but I just kept trying to keep my mind on putting one foot in front of the other.  I was trying to focus my mind on purposely holding back with my running. 

Outside of knowing I was struggling with pacing I don't have a ton of recollection of specifics of the race which makes me sad.  I do know that I took water at every water station and at a couple I even took two cups.   I had planned to take gatorade at around mile 4, but I was running strong and didn't want to stop so I just took the water they had held out and kept trucking.  As I was running up to the water station I glanced quickly for gu because the sign said they should have some.  I had planned to grab some and take it only if I felt like I needed to because I didn't know how it would settle in my stomach.  Unfortunately, they didn't have any that I could see so I wasn't sure what I was going to do.

Around mile 5 or so I started noticing the more elite runners on their way back to the finish line.  I tried not to let it bother me and kept on trucking.  Unfortunately it was at this time that my stomach decided to start cramping on me.  I was hopeful it would settle down but unfortunately it did not.  I thought there was a restroom at mile 6, when I passed mile 6 and didn't see one I started getting a bit nervous. It was at this point that I passed "L" and "C" who were AWESOME and cheered me on (I am so sorry guys, I don't think I cheered for you, but I was at a breaking point).  I let them know I forgot my fuel and "L" so generously circled back to me and gave me some of their fuel.  THANK YOU guys again! Without that fuel I might not have made it across the finish line.  I hope that someday I can pay it forward to someone in a race.

A bit after seeing "L" and "C" I had a moment of mental breakdown and I had to walk for 30-60 seconds to get my head back in the game.  FINALLY I found the bathroom just after mile 7.  The bathroom break was quick, but it took me a bit to get back into the right rhythm. I walked through the last two water stations.  I also had to take three short walk breaks. I was so disappointed, but at that point I had hit a wall and I was running pretty much alone and couldn't focus mentally.  I wanted to run the last mile and finish strong  but I just wasn't able to bring it home.  Despite feeling dead I did make sure to run the last bit to the finish line.  I saw Tommy and the kids and told myself I had to run... I was almost there. 

Saying hi to the kids as I run by!

Daniel made my day as I ran past him - he yelled out "MOMMY" - it was simply adorable and the push I needed to get across the finish line.  Thank you to my husband for getting up early and dealing with the kids, it meant alot to have them their with me for this huge milestone.  I finished somewhere around 1:36.  I am still awaiting my official results.  I took second in my age category and 38th overall.  It was a small race so I didn't get anything for finishing second in my age group, but I at least have bragging rights!


Now if you have survived my ridiculously long race report,  here are a few pictures to illustrate my run.  My split chart as well as my pace/elevation graph.

 
Looking at my splits, I am mostly happy, except for miles 8 and 10 I think I did really well.  If it weren't for those two miles and the bathroom break I definitely would have come in at my goal of 1:30.   Ah well, its all good.  As "L" and "C" reminded me - I got a PR.  That's the joy of running a new race length.










After finishing I guzzled down two bottles of water.  I was SO thirsty. If I could do this race over again I definitely would have worn my hydration belt no matter how much I hate how it looks on me.  The temps and humidity had a huge effect on my race performance.  Of course I did some basic stretching and walking to cool off.

I eventually stationed myself at the finish line to cheer "L" and "C" to the finish line, but I decided I would rather go out and meet them and run in with them.  So about 10  minutes before they were to finish I started walking back out to meet up with them.  I love these photos that Tommy took of me running in with them.

Congrats to "L" and "C" on their PR smackdown!  I love this picture of them crossing the finish line - they look so strong - you'd never guess they just ran 10 miles!  After the race they introduced me to tons of nice people that they know since this was their "home territory."  Thanks girls for showing me around and making me feel welcome. 

 And now, some miscellaneous pictures taken at the race.












Last but not least:  The race was very well organized, I would definitely do it again! 

PCT tomorrow!

So, I may have done a dumb thing spending 3-4 hours outside in the heat this afternoon.  I feel like POO!  Combine that with the pre-race nerves/jitters and I am not feeling so good about tomorrow.  The only good thing is I have some personal issues that I get to run out in the morning and I am hoping that will power me to the finish.  (The issues are not good, but that I have something to motivate me to run harder).

I could use some well wishes tonight.  10 miles is a LONG distance, yes I have run that far, but only twice and definitely not feeling the way I feel tonight!

Weigh-in Thursday

It's weigh in Thursday and I am sad to admit that I haven't been doing so well on the weight loss front the last few weeks.  I have been focusing more on making sure I am staying fueled for my half marathon training.  Not to mention we had Daniel's birthday party this last weekend and we JUST got done eating the leftovers from his party.  I definitely over-prepared the food!  Not exactly the healthiest food.  Anyway, I was back up to 190  on Tuesday (probably mostly from sodium/water retention?).  This morning I was back down to 187.  This is still over 5 pounds up from my low, and now I am 12 pounds from my goal weight.  I am trying to take this set-back in stride.  So, to "cheer" myself up I decided to go look back at where I started.  I think this picture says it all, how can I be disappointed when I see the progress I have made?

Thank you to all those who have helped/enouraged me along my running journey: Mom, Dad, Tommy, Melissa, R, L, C, E, A, and so many more.  There are too many of you to list here!