I think I am broken... I am never satisfied, never fully able to be proud of something that I accomplished. I am always comparing myself to others and wondering why I am not good enough to do what they do.
I just raised over $3,000 for St Jude Children's Research Hospital... my response?
"But I want to raise more... so-and-so raised $$, what do they do better than me?"
I just finished a full marathon... my response?
"But I didn't really run it, anyone can walk 26.2 miles (yes, I know this is flawed logic). So-and-so ran it in x:xx and I know I should be able to do the about the same. What do they do that I don't? Why are they successful and I wasn't?"
Granted, I know finishing this marathon was a HUGE accomplishment. I know raising money for St Jude makes a big difference. At the end of the day I felt no pride when I crossed that finish line, I was numb from the disappointment of the last 3 hours.
I have to pull myself out of this stupor because its not good for my mental well being or my physical well being (I eat when I am depressed and have gained 5-10 pounds)....
A race recap is coming, I just want to take a few days to process it so its hopefully not such a downer!